Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
