dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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