your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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