Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Randomize
