But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
