I'm really into asian looking animals
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize