I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
