Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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