Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
