So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
