dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
