I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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