Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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