So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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