I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
