I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
