i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
