we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
