my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
