Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
where does the pee come out of this thing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
