I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize