He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize