He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
