are you so shy because you have an std?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
