He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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