Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
