I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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