I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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