why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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