we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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