Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
