I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
