Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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