I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
