Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
