Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
