This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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