I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize