Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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