She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize