Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
