Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
These tits shall not be calmed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize