Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The struggles of a small town man whore
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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