I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
