there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
