between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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