soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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