if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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