Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
