Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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