i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
