Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
