obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
