And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
