I hate your face
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
