READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
