we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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