I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
