This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
