super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
