I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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