It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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