you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I love you. Go after that dick
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
