come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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