hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
