why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
