Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this boner is exhausting
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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